Angels Fall First
by Porcelain-Marionette
Summary: Shuichi has finally had enough, his resovles has been broken one to many times and this time it doesn't look like it can be pieced back together.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter one

**Chapter one**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gravi! (Obviously) It belongs to it's creator as does Angels Fall First by Night wish.

'_An angel face smiles to me _

_under a headline of tragedy'_

Shuichi slowly strolled down the dim street, the heavy gray clouds that loomed above him threatened to release a down pour at any second. He walked with out a purpose, his eyes cast upon the asphalt beneath his tired feet. His misery stricken features told the story of an argument he had with his lover. He always took long walks on miserable days, when he felt the weather was siding with his feelings whenever he and Yuki had a disagreement about something. Normally Shuichi would cry for a few hours and go hide out at Hiro's till Yuki came around feeling sorry for the pink haired boy. But this time It had been three days since Shuichi had last seen his blond lover, this time it was different, this time the pink haired boy didn't see any light at the end of his dark tunnel.

He paused for a moment as a large wet rain drop landed square on his nose, he had lifted his gaze to the sky for a mere moment to gaze at it through his tear stricken eyes._ Why do I always put up with his mean words? He always yells at me, telling me he hates me. Why do I have to love him as much as I do? Is it a curse or a gift? Oh... I don't know anymore._

'_That smile used to give me warmth _

_Farewell - no words to say'_

He let a soft sigh of dismay escape his parted lips as he sank to the ground; he had found himself in the park, where he first met the wonderful romance novelist. His bright coloured sweater clung to his body as the rain had begun to fall, soaking Shuichi and everything about him, would Yuki really care if he were to just lie down and die right now? Would he dare to let a tear fall form his beautiful eyes that Shuichi had fallen in love with, would he? Would he even mourn his death, probably not, not after what he had said? He had been so mean, time and time again, he never failed to disappoint, but Shuichi just couldn't stay away, he had been far to forgiving. Well not anymore, now he wasn't weeping out of sadness, he was crying out of hate, he was angry with Yuki, with his beloved lover. He wanted to hold him and kiss him but at the same time he wanted to yell at him for all the emotional pain the blond writer has caused him.

"I loved you but you never loved me in return, how could I be so blind?" The pink haired boy called out to himself, no was around to hear his pathetic cries. He was alone, forgotten, he doubted he was even a thought to anyone. Like anyone would care if he were to die right now, in the cold, wet, dark... lonely park.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter one

**Chapter two**

'_Tears of love, tears of fear Bury my dreams, dig up my sorrows'_

Yuki stirred in his uneasy slumber, for the past two nights his dreams had been a mess,_ had he done the right thing by finally getting rid of Shuichi? Or had it been wrong? Would he pay for his choice... no, why should he, it's not his fault the pink haired baka can be so annoying. But... he is so cute, that smile of his..._ His voice was so soft when he sang. He hated to admit it but he really did love Shuichi's singing, it was the only thing that could calm him down after a stressful day with the editor.

He finally rolled over onto his side and lifted his gaze to the ceiling, his hands moving to his hair as he made a feeble attempt at untangling the blond locks. "Maybe I should call Hiro and ask if the baka is okay."

He sighed as he thought aloud; he forced himself out of bed and slowly but surely made his way to his office where he fell back into his chair, rubbing his eyes in slight tiredness. Why he always ended up feeling remorseful for the pink haired baka made no sense to him. He shouldn't care, but oddly enough he did.

'_That smile used to give me warmth'_

"Hi... Yeah is Shuichi there?" His voice was full of tiredness, he was forcing himself to stay awake but he needed to see if Shuichi is alright.

"Uhh... No I thought he made up with you a day ago..." Came an equally tired response.

"No... I haven't seen him for a while. I thought he would still be with you." Yuki sat up straight in his chair, worry had started to work it's way onto his features, replacing the obvious look of lack of sleep.

"I have to go." He quickly put the phone back onto the receiver and jumped to his feet, he moved to the door of the apartment and slipped on his shoes. He didn't care if he was only in his boxers he felt a need to find Shuichi.

He pulled on a coat and quickly did it up to the best he could manage in his haste before he dashed out the door.

'_Not relieved by thoughts of Shangri-La Nor enlightened by lessons of Christ'_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter one

**Chapter three**

'_Sing me a song of your beauty _

_of your kingdom_

_Let the melodies of your harps _

_Caress those whom we still need'_

Shuichi slowly laid back on the wet, cold ground, his eyes drawn to a tight shut as he pressed his palms to the side walk, no one could tell if he was crying, the tears and the rain drops had mingled, his hair was wet and clumped in thick strands as he shivered slightly.

"Born from silence,

Silence full of it a perfect concert my best friend so much to live for,

So much to die for If only my heart had a home"

It was then that Shuichi began to sing, his voice choked with his tears but still beautiful to the ears of any passer by that even bothered to look his way as they rushed home with thei umbrellas or newspapers.

"Sing what you can't say Forget what you can't play

Hasten to drown into beautiful eyes

Walk within my poetry, this dying music

- My love letter to nobody"

He opened his eyes with this and gazed at the sky, blinking with each heavy rain drop that fell into his eyes, he continued to sing, it seemed to be all he had left to do... Sing.

"Never sigh for better world It's already composed, played and told

Every thought the music I write everything a wish for the night

Wrote for the eclipse, wrote for the virgin

Died for the beauty the one in the garden

Created a kingdom, reached for the wisdom

Failed in becoming a god"

He rolled over onto his side, folding his hands under his head as he closed his eyes once more, maybe for the last time. His voice grew louder and clearer, he felt as though the rain was washing away his every thought of Yuki, like it was cleansing him. Giving new life to him, and singing was guiding his mind into it, as though with each word his emotions flowed away with it, carried down a stream of thought.

"Never sigh"

He drew in a deep breath and let it out, pausing for a moment to recall everything before he let it wash away entirely.

"If you read this line, remember not the hand that wrote it

Remember only the verse, song maker's cry the one without tears

For I've given this its strength and it has become my only strength.  
Comforting home, mother's lap, chance for immortality where being wanted became a thrill I never knew

The sweet piano writing down my life"

"Teach me passion for I fear it's gone

Show me love hold the lore

So much more I wanted to give to the ones who love me

I'm sorry"

His chorus was carried through the park, the rain drops only masking the poor sight they came from. He was curled up, soaking wet, his hands folded under his head as a pillow.

"Time will tell this bitter farewell

I live no more to shame nor me nor you

And you... I wish I didn't feel for you anymore"

He held his eyes shut as his tone softened to a whisper, he was giving up, no one loved him. He was alone.

"A lonely soul

An ocean soul"


	4. Chapter 4

'It is the end of all hope

'_It is the end of all hope _

_To lose the child, the faith _

_To end all the innocence_

_To be someone like me _

_This is the birth of all hope _

_To have what I once had _

_This life unforgivin It will end with a birth'_

Yuki rushed out of the apartment and out into the downpour, his golden locks becoming soaked almost immediately. He paused for a mere moment of contemplation. Should he go on foot? It may just be easier. He shook the thought as he dashed down the street, almost slipping on the wet concrete in his haste. He wasn't thinking of where he was going, just run, find Shuichi... **no why should he be looking for the pink haired brat!?** He was the one who messed up his life; he could have been married by now if it weren't for him, although he didn't really want that marriage. This also meant he would be able to work on a book without Shuichi constantly bothering him. He could watch TV without having to see Shuichi there pointing out something. Why should he be running about in the rain to look for such an annoying brat? Why did he even care?

He paused again as he thought about this; he should be at home, sleeping, with no interruptions. Alone in his apartment without Shuichi there to hug him and bug him. He pulled his fingers over his matted gold locks as he glanced about the desolate street. Why was he even out here? Some how... Some how he was glad Shuichi was gone, maybe the kid would find someone else to bother, but no that thought was replaced with one more horrid. What if... what if Shuichi... what if the baka did something stupid in his depressed state? It was painfully clear as to how much the brat loved the novelist; he was sure to think the world of Yuki kicking him out.

'_No will to wake for this morn _

_To see another black rose born _

_Deathbed is slowly covered with snow'_

A heavy raindrop landed on his lips as he went to say something aloud, his tongue danced out across his lips as he turned back to his apartment. It was stupid to be worrying about the kid; he wasn't Yuki's problem now. He was someone else's or he should be someone else's.

'_Angels, they fell first but I'm still here_

_Alone as they are drawing near _

_In heaven my masterpiece will finally be sung'_

_Wounded is the deer that leaps highest _

_And my wound it cuts so deep _

_Turn off the light and let me pull the plug'_

Shuichi closed his eyes for a moment before he slowly pulled himself to his feet. He wiggled out of his wet coat and let it fall to the ground as he glanced around himself. His violet eyes scanned the surrounding park for something till he finally found it. He moved towards it and stooped to pick it up, his fingers curling around the thin top of a poorly discarded wine bottle. "You can always trust the drunks." He whispered this to him self as he lifted the rain filled bottle to eye level. He watched the water ripple in it for a moment, it all seemed so perfect, the way the water moved within the glass, confined yet free to slip away as soon as it got the chance. He squeezed his eyes shut, the rain now beating down on his face as he turned it to the sky. The bottle rose higher, higher still before his wet fingers slipped away from the glass neck one by one and with a loud crash it dropped to the pavement, the sounds of hundreds of pieces scattering drowned out the pounding of the rain for moment. Yuki had kicked him out, like he'd done many times before, only this time it was all different.

'_Mandy lion without a face _

_Death wish without a prayer'_

He let himself fall down onto the ground in a sitting position as he peeled off his wet shirt; the thin purple fabric clinging to his body till it was tossed aside like a useless rag. He opened his eyes once more, quickly scanning the mess of glass; the rain had already claimed a few pieces that were swept away in a miniature river on the sidewalk. Thin perfect fingers selected a medium sized piece, his index sliding along the razor sharp edge and barely pressing against the sharp point to draw a small drop of blood that was washed away almost as suddenly as it had appeared. He blinked the rain out of his eyes as he muttered a few words in a chocked voice. "I loved you Yuki, but I was just a foolish baka!" He closed his eyes again, drawing in a deep and painful breath; hopefully, just hopefully it would be his last. Millions of thoughts ran through his head, a small voice begging him to reconsider echoed in the back of his mind but he pulled the glass back till the sharp point was poised over his stomach, rain bouncing off it and hitting his fingers. With a last shove of will his hands acted on their own, he felt the warm trickle of blood caressing his skin long before the pain even sank in, his hands falling away from the blunt end of green glass that was barely even visible in his flesh now.

'_End of hope _

_End of love _

_End of time'_


	5. Chapter 5

'It is the end of all hope

'_The rest is silence'_

Yuki spun around as he picked up a fast pace again. What was he thinking, of coarse he cared for the pinked haired kid, he yearned for his smile, his singing, his over joyous moods. He needed that, it made his day complete. He felt alive around Shuichi, and for the past three days he has felt... felt... dead, emotionally dead. He wiped the rain drops from his pale cheeks as he raced down the wet streets. He had an idea as to where he should look for Shuichi; a place the little baka almost always went, although Yuki couldn't quite figure out why.

'_Close your eyes  
Feel the ocean where passion lies  
Silently the senses  
Abandon all defenses'_

He slid on the wet cement as he rounded a corner, he had ditched his rain coat a while back, his trademark white blouse was now see through with the heavy down pour, he had no idea why he was running, or why he was in such a hurry, he just had a feeling something was terribly wrong with his precious Shuichi.

He was drawing closer, his heart racing as he blinked the rain out of his golden eyes, his feet almost slipping with each foot step as he dashed through the park paths. He rounded one more corner and that's when he saw it, something he never thought he would have to see. Not... not to...

'_The place between sleep and awake  
End of innocence  
Unending masquerade  
That's where Ill wait for you'_

_Hold me, near you  
So closely, sear you  
Seeing, believing  
Dreaming, deceiving'_

Shuichi had fallen forwards, his delicate face falling into the mass of rain soaked glass that oddly enough sparkled in the dim moon light, the rain washed away the blood till the steady down pour came to a slow end. He could feel the pain of what he had so foolishly done, the minor cuts on his features were nothing compared to what he felt now, had he been so stupid, or was it the right thing to do?

He closed his eyes tightly as his hand rested over the deep wound, the glass was lodged far to deep he couldn't even feel it with his already numb hand. He heard he hurried foot steps of someone running up to his side, so someone did care, that or they were just trying to look good by running to help a fallen stranger.  
_  
'Sleepwalker seducing me  
I dared to enter your ecstasy  
Lay yourself now down to sleep  
In my dreams you're mine to keep'_

"Shu? Shu what did you go and do?" A familiar voice broke the ringing silence, a tear choked, saddened voice. He winced at a cold touch to his shoulder, as he was lifted out of his hunched position and laid on his back, he opened his eyes to see a blurry image. This was no stranger, it was his beloved Yuki. _Why did you have to come you stupid, stupid... _"Yu...Yuki?" Shuichi stumbled over the word as he tried to focus on the pain, it took his mind off the emotion pain.

"Why?" Yuki practically yelled this as he moved Shuichi's hand away from his stomach, he gasped before he tore off his white shirt and with numb hands he tied it around Shuichi's waist, not wanting to remove the glass he couldn't see.

"Be...Because you said you wanted me gone." Shuichi answer feebly as he closed his eyes again. He winced as the wet cloth was tied around the wound, only making it worse, or so it felt. He heard the writer fumbling for his presumably water logged phone till he heard the beep of the numbers being dialed.

'_Sing what you can't say  
Forget what you can't play  
Hasten to drown into beautiful eyes  
Walk within my poetry, this dying music  
- My love letter to nobody'_

Yuki let a tear slid down his wet cheeks as he leaned over Shuichi the pink hair boy looked terrible, how could he think of doing such a stupid thing, the baka.

"I never meant it, I never mean anything I say." He gently brushed a stray lock of pink hair from the boy's pale features as he finished calling for help, tossing the phone aside. He gently picked the small pieces of glass off Shuichi's lips.

"I love you Shuichi, don't die... Please." He leaned closer with each word till his lips met Shuichi's, he tenderly kissed the pink haired baka, it seemed like it lasted a life time, he didn't want to end, he just wanted to drown in Shuichi's soft, frail touch.

As their lips slowly parted Shuichi found enough strength to say something. "I... love you to Yuki." His eyes fluttered open as he slowly lifted a blood soaked hand to Yuki. Yuki instinctively took it, his fingers tangling with his lover's.

"Don't die..." He whispered again as he knelt beside the boy, he noticed his eyes slowly close and his breaths shorten, his chest slowly rising and falling.

"Don't..." Yuki let his tears run free now; they slowly crawled down his cheeks and fell onto Shuichi's bared chest. Yuki slowly leaned closer to Shuichi again, a tear falling onto the singer's cut lips. A single piece of glass remained on them; it sparkled in the moonlight as Yuki leaned closer till his lips were over the shimmering glass. He slowly took it into his mouth and swallowed before he kissed his precious Shuichi...


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter six

**Chapter six**

Shuichi's eyes fluttered open again as he smiled weakly into the kiss, his blood soaked hand slowly moving to tangle in the writer's rain drenched locks. So this is what it took to get noticed, to actually have the one person he loved pay attention to him. This is what it took. "You're not much… of a romance writer… in the…" He couldn't finish his words, as his eyelids felt heavy, sleep seemed to want to take over, his will to stay awake slowly fading.

"In the end." The three solitary words left Shuichi's lips in a single breath only to be lost in the sound of the down pour. The pink haired singer's body grew limp in Yuki's arms; the patter of rain filling his ears and his tears soon became lost in the raindrops that lined his cheeks. He quickly pulled his young lover in his lap as he sat up, he wasn't dead, he wouldn't allow the thought, but no it was a reality! He buried his face in Shuichi's shoulder, hugging him close letting blood stain his clothes. It just wasn't the ending he wanted! He wouldn't accept it.

The sound of sirens broke through the pounding of the rain, it grew louder as the help got closer, they weren't to late they could still save him, they could! Could they?

"_Sing me a song  
of your beauty  
of your kingdom  
Let the melodies of your harps  
caress those whom we still need"_

Yuki's every sense was dulled with the emotional ach, he felt someone pull Shuichi from his arms, his Shuichi, he felt another person try to help him stand up, it was all a blur, everything, everything except Shuichi, he couldn't seem to pull his eyes off his body as people gathered around him, all in a practiced order they strapped him to a gurney and got him into the back of the ambulance, orders were being yelled above the rain, but none of the words registered in Yuki's mind, someone was beside him asking if he wanted to ride with Shuichi to the hospital, he could only nod, no words would come. His throat felt dry, his mind was blank, and nothing was making any sense. He felt completely and utterly helpless.

He climbed into the back on the ambulance sitting on the bench; his hands found one of Shuichi's, his grip tightening as his blue eyes locked on the singer. He couldn't look away, he wouldn't look to the paramedic that was trying to keep Shuichi in a stable condition as the doors were closed and the vehicle immediately started moving, the sirens, the beeping of the heart rate monitor, the soft sound of the oxygen mask, it was all insignificant.

Everything else was a blur, all he could remember was someone telling him to wait in the waiting room as they rushed Shuichi off behind a set of doors. Yuki's soaked form sank into a horrid chair, his eyes devoid of any emotion as he stared endlessly at the doors as if they were the only things that existed. It felt like hours passed by, the soft ticking of the clock echoed in his mind. Those doors never seemed to open again, they had swallowed up his most precious person and they didn't give the impression that they wanted to let him go again.

"_Yesterday we shook hands  
my friend"_

His pale purple eyes fluttered open, every limb in his body felt heavy and unmovable, his mind was foggy, his vision was blurred, the room seemed to waver as he blinked a few times, the beeping of something filled his ears and the stale odor of medicines hung in the air. The white ceiling came into focus; he could feel a warm hand gripping his. Where was he? He slowly tilted his head to the side, blinking a few more times, blond hair, blue eyes, a stern face, weakened with pain and worry. "Yuki…" Shuichi whispered this softly; a small smile slowly working it's way upon his lips. Pain slipped through his body causing him to grimace. Was he still alive?

"Shuichi… you scared me half to death." Yuki's words were laced with tears as his grip tightened slightly on his hand. He really did care.

"Yuki, you do care." Tears welled up in the singer's eyes. How stupid was he to ever believe that Yuki didn't love him that Yuki didn't feel the same way he did. How stupid. He had caused him so much pain. "I'll never do that again, I promise." His voice was slightly shaky as the tears began to slide down his cheeks. His body still ached. "I'm sorry I hurt you, I just want to make you feel the same way I do." He whispered this softly as his fingers twined with Yuki's.

"Oh but you do Shuichi, my heart begs to be with you, you make my skin flush with warmth that I can't even begin to make sense of." Yuki smiled through tears that were slowly coming to an end, everything was going to be okay.

"_Today a moonbeam lightens my path  
My guardian."_

**THE END**


End file.
